"At least I’m learning about myself."
I’ve been saying that to myself for the last week as I’ve started sng someone who is polyamorous. I’ve never been polyamorous but I feel like I can’t necessarily love just one person, so this has been an adventure into testing it out. Obviously I haven’t gotten any practical experience with it yet as I’ve only seen this woman once or twice.
The hardest thing for me has been her lack of communication. To begin with I thought she was unimpressed with me, but she eventually got back to me a couple days later. Fast forward to today and the last I’ve heard from her is Sunday. I know for a fact she’s super busy, but usually I was assuming she was at the Center which is a no cellphone zone, but I’ve been there on my own for different parties every night of the week so far, and haven’t seen her once. Doesn’t mean she isn’t there… could be in the library working or something, but it’s disheartening.
I think the biggest thing that I’ve learned is that I apparently do hold a little bit of jealousy in my heart. It’s not a “gerrof my woman!” jealously as I don’t think of her as my woman (yet). I think it’s completely possible to have the “my woman” feeling and still be polyamorous, but I suppose we’ll see. I think it’s more jealousy of attention and time. I’m not used to someone needing to budget their time between 3 men. But it makes total sense as to her silence this week if she had been planning on see her boyfriends. If I were in multiple relationships currently, I wouldn’t want to be disturbed by any of the other women I see while I’m with one in particular.
We’ll see what happens.